Percussa micro super signal processor

Continuing the 'oldie but goodie' links for today is the 'virtual gramophone / digital needle'. (via audioserve)
This is practically ancient, 2002, but I hadn't seen it, and it's
hilarious. Ofer Springer pretends never to have seen vinyl records
before and treats them as "archeology," trying to reconstruct the means
of recording turntables using a digital scanner. Somehow, he turns
those image scans back into sound, with peculiar results (check the
MP3s).

Of course, given the feelings of some on this site (myself not
necessarily included), I imagine you fantasize an exchange more like
this:

"Cybok, what is this?"
"It says . . . prrrOOOO Tuuueuels"
"According to fragments in our historical archives, primitive humans
used this on digital terminals called cahmpewters to make music."
"Digital?"
"Yes, apparently these humans were so stunningly crippled technologically they tried to make music with digital technology."
"What?? No Buchla and Moog analog instruments? No reel-to-reel tape? No ribbon mics or spring reverbs or tape feedback?"
"Disturbing, I know. They used internal combustion of fossil fuels to drive their transport units, too."