Photo: Todd Thille. Used by permission. MeatWater (C) Liquid Innovations.

If this economy is getting you down, our friends at MeatWater, the “high-efficiency survival beverage,” have a prescription. A prescription for techno:

MeatWater MP3 Techno Remix

Now, perhaps this is just a crass ploy for MeatWater to sell more of their MeatWater-protein drinks, which come in flavors like Gyros, Beef Stroganof, Hungarian BBQ, and Dirty Hot Dog. But if there’s one thing I believe in more than the health-giving power of proteins, it’s in the stimulating power of techno. I’m steps away from the stock market, so I may take this on a boom box and hold it out front of the exchange, Say Anything-style. Well, until I get stopped.

I mean, who can feel anything but bullish as four beats pound confidently on the … floor?

By the way, if you’re wondering, just … don’t. There’s not really a rational explanation.

You can talk to the bottles on Twitter. They like German. (send them some German techno, okay?)

  • Cptn

    I was almost ready for a case of Dirty Hot Dog….then noticed they had tracked down a supply of the scrumptious W-Bone steak for the Texas BBQ flavor! The hint of peyote wakes me up in the morning and getting my RDA of cartilage and blood before 9 provides me with more energy than red bull could ever dream of.

  • robin parry

    i've been looking for meatwater, wow,
    i'm fed up of giving fluids to my dog, (needle etc) so now no more, he'll just want to drink meatwater

  • Bad, bad first thing to read when waking up hungover.

  • @vvvoid, don't worry, I think they're unveiling a new flavor for that that could make this the *perfect* thing for a hangover. 😉

  • How bout prosciutto?!

  • They do have tasty pizza prosciutto.

    I'm holding out for haggis.

  • Downpressor

    If only they were Kosher…

  • Meat water is the new sexy.

  • Meh, gimme a hot dog wrapped in a chocolate chip pancake on a stick.. Now thats a breakfast!

  • decrepitude

    Incredibly elaborate hoax by an up and coming marketing team?

    Web design, photography, photoshop work, copy editing – all top notch. If they can create demand for a product that doesn't even exist, I'd say they've proven themselves – whoever they are.

    Then again, Jones Soda company puts out some very odd flavors on a seasonal basis.

    As a joke gift I can see how this could in fact exist, but so far none of the rumour debunkers (Snopes, etc.) have nothing to say about it. At thier webpage the "shop" link is suspect.