Percussa micro super signal processor

I can neither confirm nor deny whether Roland has a new keyboard entitled the Jupiter-80. I can, however, confirm that there is a man standing in front of a keyboard that has “Jupiter-80” written on the back. I can also say, based on my knowledge of the 1981 keyboard – which I believe is not under any press embargo or NDA – it appears to me not to be a Jupiter-8 with a zero stenciled on it and a screen that may or may not be a touchscreen on it. (Actually, given the way Messe embargoes are going so far, I’d say if the Jupiter-8 were under a veil of secrecy, I probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.)

In an “exclusive scoop” for CDM, though, I can say this:

Having watched forum and comment trolls say angry things about Roland, I believe that any synthesizer sounds cooler and more serious when you talk about it in German. Watch and see.

“Ah, but I already knew things sounded cooler in German,” you say. Ah, but such is the nature of scoops. Sometimes, they tell you things you don’t already know. Sometimes, they don’t.

Updated: Yeah, okay, now we can talk about the Jupiter-80. And even if you don’t love it, in German or English, you can get some information that comments I’ve read on blogs have more or less gotten entirely inaccurate.