D2000threequartlarge

Drum machines. They’re predictable. So much so that the biggest controversy about Roland’s high-profile entry into the market with AIRA was whether they should remake the 808/909 or remake the 808/909 as analog.

Enter Metasonix. They would like to make the differentiation point of drum machines whether you still have your ass or not once you’ve heard them.

And so, we see the D-2000, the long-awaited (long-dreaded?) successor to the D-1000, but, say Metasonix, more extreme. (“Tweaked,” “maximized,” and “pushed.”)

How would you describe the sound? Absolutely terrible. (You know, nicely horrible. I mean, probably not in a way most of us would spend money on, but… well, read on, as we ponder just who would. Because they must be interesting.)

Not everyone can actual create products in a way that could be termed trolling – and still sell them. This is that kind of product.

Basically, what you get is three tunable drums made from the resonance of tube-driven bandpass filters. Those are tuned with vactrol photoresistors – a resistive circuit that combines an LED and a photoresistor. Drive controls give you overdrive. Then you add two noise cymbals, also using tubes (to gate the sound). You can also link one of the noise circuits to one of the pitched drums, for a “snare”-ish… thing.

And then if that weren’t dirty enough, the whole lot of them is fed into a tube preamp.

The original D-1000 had its own sequencer. Here, the focus is on sound: there’s literally a hole left for the sequencer you want. (8HP lets you add Eurorack or something else; they’ve got a couple of suggestions.)

Also interesting: you can feed anything as a pulse, or use an audio signal as the trigger. You can output that squashed tube-overdriven main out, but also the individual drums (essential). And there’s, naturally, CV ins.

Metasonix_D2000

It is “rude and immoral.” Metasonix amusingly concede that they’ve had customers think their gear is broken – sorry, that’s how it’s meant to sound.

I mean, of course, all of this is ridiculous. The unit will set you back US$1895 – and that’s if you can buy it at all. It’s exclusively at Big City Music. (Someone, somewhere here in Europe will buy one and pay the import taxes – you go, person.)

It’s almost as though the whole product is an insult to … sort of everyone. Not taking the hint, Synthtopia commenters jump onboard to savage the unit as a painful waste of money. (Though, to anyone saying this sounds like farts, I want sound samples of your farts.)

They’re missing the point. It is a painful waste of money.

And it’s completely brilliant. It’s nice to see Metasonix’s insanity back in the game.

http://www.metasonix.com/v3/index.php/d-2000-drum-machine-new

Big City – D-2000

It’s a limited run, so … yeah, obviously, this is a limited run.

I mean, you really actually should probably buy an Octatrack and then just get some distortion pedals – they’re just US$1299 at Big City, and while they’re not getting Overbridge, they’re beautiful music machines. Or even get a volca sample. Or, probably, just about anything and a distortion pedal.

But, then, should is not a word that can even be applied to this machine. Immoral is right. And I’m glad it exists. And to anyone crazy enough to buy it, I want to meet you. I … just might keep a cell phone on me and have my escape vehicle ready with some backup. But don’t take it personally. Seriously, let’s hang in your … studio … a bit. Also, you’re buying lunch: you can afford it.

  • Foosnark

    Love it.

  • Foosnark

    Love it.

  • Foosnark

    Love it.

  • chaircrusher

    The Metasonix stuff always sounds unique. Uniquely crappy, to my ears, but hey, De gustibus non est disputandum.

    There’s a million way to sound distorted and/or crappy, Metasonix consistently comes up with some of the most extreme and expensive ways to do so.

  • chaircrusher

    The Metasonix stuff always sounds unique. Uniquely crappy, to my ears, but hey, De gustibus non est disputandum.

    There’s a million way to sound distorted and/or crappy, Metasonix consistently comes up with some of the most extreme and expensive ways to do so.

  • chaircrusher

    The Metasonix stuff always sounds unique. Uniquely crappy, to my ears, but hey, De gustibus non est disputandum.

    There’s a million way to sound distorted and/or crappy, Metasonix consistently comes up with some of the most extreme and expensive ways to do so.

  • Derek

    I believe Trent Reznor used the first version of this, and it’s featured prominently on the How To Destroy Angels track “The Believers”.

    • D-1000, yes. Don’t know if he’s got a D-2000 yet. But, darnit, Mr. Reznor, don’t give this thing actual credibility! Destroys all the fun of it! 😉

      (also, of course, US$1895 for Trent Reznor is presumably about the same as me picking up a spare knob cap or a Metasonix sticker/decal, if I do my math right!)

  • Derek

    I believe Trent Reznor used the first version of this, and it’s featured prominently on the How To Destroy Angels track “The Believers”.

    • D-1000, yes. Don’t know if he’s got a D-2000 yet. But, darnit, Mr. Reznor, don’t give this thing actual credibility! Destroys all the fun of it! 😉

      (also, of course, US$1895 for Trent Reznor is presumably about the same as me picking up a spare knob cap or a Metasonix sticker/decal, if I do my math right!)

  • Derek

    I believe Trent Reznor used the first version of this, and it’s featured prominently on the How To Destroy Angels track “The Believers”.

    • D-1000, yes. Don’t know if he’s got a D-2000 yet. But, darnit, Mr. Reznor, don’t give this thing actual credibility! Destroys all the fun of it! 😉

      (also, of course, US$1895 for Trent Reznor is presumably about the same as me picking up a spare knob cap or a Metasonix sticker/decal, if I do my math right!)

  • Richard Atkinson

    It is the weirdest thing seeing a device with 6 valves in it being powered by a 12V DC power supply.

    • Truer words…

    • sean

      starved operation in valves makes interesting types of distortion..

  • Richard Atkinson

    It is the weirdest thing seeing a device with 6 valves in it being powered by a 12V DC power supply.

    • Truer words…

    • sean

      starved operation in valves makes interesting types of distortion..

  • Richard Atkinson

    It is the weirdest thing seeing a device with 6 valves in it being powered by a 12V DC power supply.

    • Truer words…

    • sean

      starved operation in valves makes interesting types of distortion..

  • just passing

    Anyone else flashing back to the Rhythm Wolf thread? I guess the rule is: price something like this at $150 and make it with transistors, and it’s shit. Price it at $1900, make it with valves, leave off the sequencer and mount THE most passive aggressive marketing campaign of all time, and it’s droolworthy.

    But they both sound like they came out of the same dog to me. Maybe different ends.

    • You’re actually not the first person to make the comparison…

      I guess because a lot of us know Eric, the passive aggressive marketing is sort of not news.

      Well, look, sonically, I can’t make head *nor* tails out of either of them, personally. I’ve now had people defending each for different reasons on those grounds. No accounting for taste? 😉

      • just passing

        Or the ease with which the sonic equivalent of a soggy fag paper can be slipped ‘twixt a fool and their money…

        • Nihil 297

          I think the Rhythm Wolf sounds better, of course. It’s cheaper because it’s made in China by by a large corporation. The Metasonix gear, love it or hate it, is made by hand by one guy up in Nor Cal. And I know he’s not rolling in money. Even if the D-2000 sounded like the Vienna Boys Choir it wouldn’t cost any less to make. Metasonix gear is for weirdos and rich masochists. You can’t DJ some Techno with it.

          • Wait a minute, though, it is possible to make a drum machine or noise box for less than this. There are design decisions here other than just scale. There are hand-built Eurorack modules that cost less than that Rhythm Wolf.

            Of course, scale matters, but it’s not the *only* factor. You don’t instantly turn into this. 😉

          • just passing

            Nah, it’s cheaper because it was designed to be a mass market item; it sounds shite because it was designed to be a mass market item by a company that doesn’t know what it’s playing at.

            I’m no longer so sure Metasonix is a company that knows what it’s playing at, either. But it’s playing at it at precisely the other end of the market – an end where not handbuilding stuff personally is commercial suicide.

  • just passing

    Anyone else flashing back to the Rhythm Wolf thread? I guess the rule is: price something like this at $150 and make it with transistors, and it’s shit. Price it at $1900, make it with valves, leave off the sequencer and mount THE most passive aggressive marketing campaign of all time, and it’s droolworthy.

    But they both sound like they came out of the same dog to me. Maybe different ends.

    • You’re actually not the first person to make the comparison…

      I guess because a lot of us know Eric, the passive aggressive marketing is sort of not news.

      Well, look, sonically, I can’t make head *nor* tails out of either of them, personally. I’ve now had people defending each for different reasons on those grounds. No accounting for taste? 😉

  • just passing

    Anyone else flashing back to the Rhythm Wolf thread? I guess the rule is: price something like this at $150 and make it with transistors, and it’s shit. Price it at $1900, make it with valves, leave off the sequencer and mount THE most passive aggressive marketing campaign of all time, and it’s droolworthy.

    But they both sound like they came out of the same dog to me. Maybe different ends.

    • You’re actually not the first person to make the comparison…

      I guess because a lot of us know Eric, the passive aggressive marketing is sort of not news.

      Well, look, sonically, I can’t make head *nor* tails out of either of them, personally. I’ve now had people defending each for different reasons on those grounds. No accounting for taste? 😉

  • tube in tokyo

    a polished turd is still…… a turd…… easier to sample pan sonic ….

    • aaron

      if I heard a track that sampled pan sonic, i’d immediately change the tune, remember the name then go off to insult that person/people to whoever is in earshot. might as well sample depeche mode, or aphex twin, or daft punk, or sigur ros, or boc, or whatever. “music” that samples material like that doesn’t just deserve to be skipped it deserves extra attention for insulting.

      • Aaron Zilch

        I don’t know…I’d rather hear someone creatively sample any of those artists than hear another “Vengeance loop + presets from the same five plug in synths” that passes for electronic music these days.

  • tube in tokyo

    a polished turd is still…… a turd…… easier to sample pan sonic ….

    • aaron

      if I heard a track that sampled pan sonic, i’d immediately change the tune, remember the name then go off to insult that person/people to whoever is in earshot. might as well sample depeche mode, or aphex twin, or daft punk, or sigur ros, or boc, or whatever. “music” that samples material like that doesn’t just deserve to be skipped it deserves extra attention for insulting.

      • Aaron Zilch

        I don’t know…I’d rather hear someone creatively sample any of those artists than hear another “Vengeance loop + presets from the same five plug in synths” that passes for electronic music these days.

  • tube in tokyo

    a polished turd is still…… a turd…… easier to sample pan sonic ….

    • aaron

      if I heard a track that sampled pan sonic, i’d immediately change the tune, remember the name then go off to insult that person/people to whoever is in earshot. might as well sample depeche mode, or aphex twin, or daft punk, or sigur ros, or boc, or whatever. “music” that samples material like that doesn’t just deserve to be skipped it deserves extra attention for insulting.

      • Aaron Zilch

        I don’t know…I’d rather hear someone creatively sample any of those artists than hear another “Vengeance loop + presets from the same five plug in synths” that passes for electronic music these days.

  • HappyILiveHI

    I’ll pay $5 for the iPad app version.

  • HappyILiveHI

    I’ll pay $5 for the iPad app version.

  • Velocipede

    I’ll pay $5 for the iPad app version.

  • Hainbach

    Eric sucks at making demos for his gear. You can easily make fart sounds with any of instruments, but if you back off on feedback and drive and add some gentle CV, you can get unique and deep tones out of them. Just listen to this demo by Navs for the R54 Supermodule: https://soundcloud.com/navs/metasonix-r54-supermodule

    That said, I don’t care for the form factor of the D2000, I prefer the D1000, even though I might rehouse mine. Too much useless space in the box.

    • Vincent

      Hey that was pretty good. You should call them.

  • Hainbach

    Eric sucks at making demos for his gear. You can easily make fart sounds with any of instruments, but if you back off on feedback and drive and add some gentle CV, you can get unique and deep tones out of them. Just listen to this demo by Navs for the R54 Supermodule: https://soundcloud.com/navs/metasonix-r54-supermodule

    That said, I don’t care for the form factor of the D2000, I prefer the D1000, even though I might rehouse mine. Too much empty space in the box.

    • Vincent

      Hey that was pretty good. You should call them.

  • Hainbach

    Eric sucks at making demos for his gear. You can easily make fart sounds with any of instruments, but if you back off on feedback and drive and add some gentle CV, you can get unique and deep tones out of them. Just listen to this demo by Navs for the R54 Supermodule: https://soundcloud.com/navs/metasonix-r54-supermodule

    That said, I don’t care for the form factor of the D2000, I prefer the D1000, even though I might rehouse mine. Too much empty space in the box.

    • Vincent

      Hey that was pretty good. You should call them.

  • max

    How often would you use sounds like this?
    Thats quite an expensive one trick pony.
    I made 3 bit drumsounds with freeware that sound better.

  • max

    How often would you use sounds like this?
    Thats quite an expensive one trick pony.
    I made 3 bit drumsounds with freeware that sound better.

  • max

    How often would you use sounds like this?
    Thats quite an expensive one trick pony.
    I made 3 bit drumsounds with freeware that sound better.

  • gunboat_d

    I wouldn’t expect anything less from the company that sold the AssBlaster. I’m kind of let down that it’s called the D-2000 and not something like AssBlower or AssMachine or something equally juvenile.

  • gunboat_d

    I wouldn’t expect anything less from the company that sold the AssBlaster. I’m kind of let down that it’s called the D-2000 and not something like AssBlower or AssMachine or something equally juvenile.

  • gunboat_d

    I wouldn’t expect anything less from the company that sold the AssBlaster. I’m kind of let down that it’s called the D-2000 and not something like AssBlower or AssMachine or something equally juvenile.

  • aaron

    The demo was typicially horrible and people lust after the D-1000 for a reason. Just go look @ other demos of the D-1000 to get a better feel for what the D-2000 sounds like. Here’s few…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa3fYur1LPw

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cRE4k5ZEHk

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj_Bb6dXpzk

    If Eric ever stops making crazy tube boxes it’ll be a sad day. He’s one of few the mad scientists out there..

  • aaron

    The demo was typicially horrible and people lust after the D-1000 for a reason. Just go look @ other demos of the D-1000 to get a better feel for what the D-2000 sounds like. Here’s few…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa3fYur1LPw

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cRE4k5ZEHk

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj_Bb6dXpzk

    If Eric ever stops making crazy tube boxes it’ll be a sad day. He’s one of few the mad scientists out there..

  • aaron

    The demo was typicially horrible and people lust after the D-1000 for a reason. Just go look @ other demos of the D-1000 to get a better feel for what the D-2000 sounds like. Here’s few…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa3fYur1LPw

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cRE4k5ZEHk

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj_Bb6dXpzk

    If Eric ever stops making crazy tube boxes it’ll be a sad day. He’s one of few the mad scientists out there..

  • Gene Pozniak

    This is the BEST review of ANYTHING I’ve ever read. lol

  • Jesse Johannesen

    I got to mess around with one of these in a music shop today. It really is hilariously unpleasant sounding. It was a lot of fun as there was an art opening and music already playing and then whooom whoom funnhhchh whoom screech! It was cacophonous but I don’t think anyone even reacted. Good times! I would like to mention that the d1000 is way fucking cooler and if you get a chance to, record some samples. It’s a whole different beast, and totally rips.