So, today one of the Internet’s targeted millennial marketing conglomerate – cum – music press outlets decided to ask if anyone likes live techno sets as part of a series that could be titled “We Troll The Internet to Increase Click Revenue.” I really wanted to argue with the content of the article, but – well, it’s a bit too easy. Watch: you can’t even make it past the headline. Headline: “Has Anyone Ever Actually Enjoyed a Live Techno Set?” Some voice in the back of the room from a guy named Steve: “Uh, me. Once.” And we’re done. All it took was Steve to punch holes in the whole argument, and Steve actually prefers house music.

Okay, so that deals with the body of the text. Now all we need is an example of a really amazing live techno set, and we’re done here. I choose this one. It’s not real – but what is real, anyway?

Not real, and yet … I have definitely played on this level once or twice in reality. Available for bookings, everybody!

Of course, join CDM next week for our ongoing, not-terribly-good-at-generating click revenue, and really not-terribly-fun-to-read series in which I go on and on about archaic topics in articles that are too long because I drank too much coffee. That series is, naturally, called “Monday.” Tune in after the weekend for your daily dose.

Hehe, okay – too much irony confused people. I hate having to explain jokes, but I may need to. It’s pointless to debate the merits of live music, and frankly, even a (cough) parody with fake sound is still fun to watch. Don’t miss the real Kink video, or really any number of live techno performances that are too numerous to mention. Support live music, support live musicians, support people taking risks and making mistakes and failing miserably, and as a result, enjoy life. Also, there are better lagers than Stella.

  • Ask yourself: 2 robots making love, is that real?

    • Emile v

      We all perceive reality with our senses, which are limited and transform any incoming signal, then our brain makes sense of the incoming data as best as it can, but is unique for every person. So I would argue that actual reality is unknown to everyone, and everyone’s reality is different from yours. In other words, reality is an illusion 😉

      • baju-baju

        I though sollipsism was gone. 😛

      • open your mind and yer robot will folow 🙂

  • +1 for Peter 😉 A beautiful rant indeed ^_^

  • chaircrusher

    The REAL kink set is pretty dope actually. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osS2zsW8mLk

    • Hell, yeah. That’s the other reason I chose this. 😉

      • Jyoti Mishra

        But the bass bit in the spoof vid is actually waaay catchier than the equivalent time in the real vid…. 😛

  • Konstantin Fateyev

    I am not sure why did you call it not real? Am I missing something?

    • foljs

      Because the sound has been replaced with BS effects?

      • Ashley Scott

        tho in some ways the re-dubbed version is more fun. Wouldn’t want it to go longer than 10 minutes

      • Konstantin Fateyev

        Yeah now I get it. I just thought it is the “highlights” version of the long one, which I actually watched/listened.

  • Bwahaha, good one. International hipsterism. You cannot tell whether you’re in Brooklyn, Berlin oder Moscow anymore 😀

  • itchy

    i have a pulled muscle in my chest and this made it worse from laughing too hard.

  • That is actually pretty awesome! Hahahaha!!

  • Dominic Arkwright

    A. Tilliander for live techno for me.

  • Dominic Arkwright

    I sort of like how KiNK sounds usually, but I definitely can’t stand watching!

  • Polite Society

    I can kind of see their point though. For example, let’s go to two extremes. The festival live set, which us essentially heavily synced to visuals, et al, and performed the same in its entirety night after night. This is boring because even though it’s technically being played live, it’s actually not live, it’s a recording. Then there other side, is the guy with a drum machine and a synth barely doing more than queuing up patterns and fiddling with filters. That’s boring, because he doesn’t know how to perform. If that’s all you have been exposed to, then it’s ready to see how you would think it’s crap. It’s just way more common to see those than anything more thought out.

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CgmSZegLzI

    This was def the best part of that set

  • Christophe

    what’s his small keyboard?

  • John Kennedy

    that was hysterical! (probably a lot funnier if you’d already seen the real set. anybody wanting to get inspired about making live techno should watch “all” of Kink’s videos – many styles & approaches to see/hear)

  • blimpblocks

    techno suuuckkkkkksssssssssssssss so Fuckin bad.

    • baju-baju

      Free therapy? Whatever helps you.

      • blimpblocks

        no, free facts. it’s a morons rhythm, a douchey drug scene and devoid of anything musically interesting. the people who play your music are more important than those who make it, neither of which need to rely on talent for any aspect of the two disciplines. the genre is the forefront of the loudness war, and sounds identical no matter what the micro genre you are forced to create to feel special. sequenced repetitions and filter sweeps. farts. but it’s the Internet, so that’s what I want to say, and you have to listen. thanks!

        • baju-baju

          Better in than out I guess.
          You shouldn’t waste you talent here. Set up a box and scream your absolute truths at passers by, soon you’ll have a following of like minded people.
          Then some flags, shirts and special camps for morons who enjoy techno.
          Over, out.

    • Polite Society

      Maybe you’ve just been listening to bad techno 😛

  • Salomo Sitorus

    KiNK is the KING!

  • juno

    do you people really like this or are you making fun of it? personally I think this kind of sh!t is an insult to producers and musicians, or perhaps I don’t get it

  • Chris

    Kink live is so great. This radio performance is particularly good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBDbkDQlz-g

    That Kink Shreds video seems like it took a lot of work, I admire that dedication to making such a silly thing.