Imagine every single piece of gear you have on your wish list. Then imagine a baby grand piano, lacquered in white. Then imagine — you know, for the sake of practicality — you want to use the piano as a projection surface. And sound system. And then imagine you just mash all those ideas into one gear-packed baby grand piano, and you’ve got the beautifully freakish BabyGrandMaster:

Baby Grand Master

It’s not just a gimmicky DJ piano. It’s a “video instrument”, blending visuals and audio. The last time we saw something somewhat like this was the keyboard with PC Miko, though since that’s just a Windows PC packed in a keyboard, only the marketing concept in principle made it a “VJ/DJ” product versus, well, a PC in a keyboard. And, of course, the Baby Grand Master starts to make the Miko look oddly affordable and practical.

This isn’t just some random tinkerer, either. It’s the creation of a veteran of the Emergency Broadcast Network group, as seen on Create Digital Motion today, meaning if you want to add missiles, it’s probably possible.

The specs:

Video:

  1. Dual Pioneer DVJ-X1 DVD Players
  2. Edirol V-4 Video Mixer
  3. 3 Marshal LCD Monitors
  4. Slot loading assembly
  5. Ultra reflective white projection surface

Audio:

  1. Allen and Heath Xone 92 Audio Mixer
  2. Dual 15″ Subwoofers
  3. 18″ Subwoofer
  4. 12″ Subwoofer
  5. 3 Bullet Tweeters
  6. AB 1100 Watt Power Amplifier

Drivetrain:

  1. Moog Slip Ring Assembly
  2. 8 Foot Rotating Turntable
  3. Wall Mount Variable Speed Control

Still not impressed? Options include hydraulic legs and lid, neon underlighting and running lights, fog and laser assembly, and an even more enormous “concert grand” stretch version. If this weren’t April 23, I’d be looking for the April Fools’ disclaimer, it’s so extreme.

All that’s missing: an actual piano. (What, no mapping the hammer action to visual clips?)

Josh Randall of Harmonix/Guitar Hero fame tipped us off. He writes: “From Gardner Post, ex-EBN member. He was the guy behind all of EBNs amazing gear…like the rocket launching golf bags and mobile video attack systems…(huge truck with lots of tvs on it) He’s been telling me about the baby grand project for a while…and he finally posted this site.”

EBN is Emergency Broadcast Network, a terrific multimedia group. Even if this particular creation isn’t your thing, you should check out their work — I think it’ll be right up the alley of the typical CDM reader.

I’ll try to go visit the actual instrument when I’m up Gardner’s way; more soon.

On the visual side: Create Digital Motion, why I think projecting on pianos is fun, and why we should do this the cheap way.