Gift Idea: $30 mi Jam Toy Scratch Mixer, Toy Interactive Sound Sculpture Beg to Be Abused

The problem with iPod DJ mixers? They’re generally pointless toys that are a poor substitute for real DJ gear. The wonderful thing about iPod DJ mixers that actually are intended as pointless toys that are a poor substitute for real DJ gear? For only US$30 or so (check Froogle for some last-minute deals), you can pick up a scratching, mixing, multi-effects processing toy and plug in your homebrew software-running GameBoys and do some … unspeakable things to the sound. What? You don’t think the good folks who manufactured the mi Jam had that in mind when they set up shop? Hmmmm, you’re probably right …

The existing b2 line relates directly to the burgeoning market of digital music devices such as I pod and mp3 players. Future development of the line will center on the music and entertainment industries and strive to offer products that enhance these experiences.

That sure doesn’t sound like much fun. I don’t think they fully understand their market. So I’ve taken the liberty of rewriting the copy on their product description. Good people of b2, feel free to add this to your website — seriously, no charge. It’s my pleasure:

Now here’s a great device that really lets you make the music your own ^some crazy, f***ed up s*** ^. The mi Jam™ Mixer will have you mixing like a DJ ^terrifying your dullard DJ friends in no time^ and is so portable you can take it anywhere.

The Mixer functions with any digital music device, such as iPod® and MP3 player ^a hacked Game Boy or home-built synth circuit^, and can even work with stereo player ^Theremin^ and personal computer ^Commodore 64. Each mi Jam™ Mixer features two scratch discs which work in both directions with a variety of ^wonderfully cheap-sounding^ effects.
Also included in the Mixer are two programmed rhythm selection buttons, digital voice, techno effects, tempo and volume controls ^which you should distort as much as you possibly can^.

Just like all other mi Jam™ products the Mixer works either as a standalone Mixer or accompanies your favorite music ^Ableton Live set^ so plug it into your music device ^Max/MSP patch^ and jam away. You can even add the mi Jam™ Stage Mic to add vocals for the complete DJ ^toy-based music^ experience.

The mi Jam™ Mixer is so versatile, portable and easy to use that you can use it to develop your very own sound which you can record onto a PC or similar device and podcast it or add it to your personal blog. ^circuit-bend it into an evil effects processor. It looks really nice painted in Jackson Pollack-esque camouflage. With giant googly eyes attached.^

Yep, I want one. Amazon appears to be out of stock; check your local toy / electronics store. They make a guitar and drum sticks, but the mixer and vocal mic ($20) look like they could do the most damage.

mi Jam Mixer Product Page, via the excellent turntablist resource skratchworx (who took this entirely too seriously, I think!)

But, wait — there’s more. Looking for the mi Jam, I see Sharper Image has gotten into the tabletop / tangible musical interface game, with their own “interactive digital audio sculpture uses movable pawn-like pieces on a base to create original musical compositions accompanied by pulsing light shows.” That’s right: even more circuit-bending fun. Happy holidays, indeed.